Jokes & Funny Stories About The Police

Here are some jokes and funny stories about the police.

What do you get if you cross a fly with a detective?
A police insector.

My brother is now with the F.B.I. They finally tracked him down.

A Truck load of prunes has been stolen. Police are looking for a man on the run.

Submitted by : Fraser 

Two policemen are called to the scene of a crime in a convenience store. One asks the manager what happened.
He replies "There's a man over there covered in Corn Flakes and he's dead."
"That's odd," said the first policeman, "didn't we have one covered in Bran Flakes yesterday? And another covered in Wheata Flakes last week?"
"Your right" said the second policeman. "This must be the work of a cereal killer."

Tourist: Is that chin-strap to keep your helmet on?
Policeman: No, sir, it's to rest my jaw on after answering stupid questions.

Old policemen never die, they just cop out.

Yesterday thieves broke into a police station and stole all the toilets. When asked to comment, a police spokesman said, "they have nothing to go on."

A man went to the police station and demanded that he be allowed to speak to the man who had broken into his house the previous night.
"You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant.
"But you don't understand," said the man. "I want to know how he got into my house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years."

A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat. He stopped the car and asked, "Why, Johnny, this wouldn't be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it?"
"That it is," Johnny replied grimly, "ever since I arrested the judge on his way to the masquerade ball."
"You mean you pinched his honor?" asked Pat.
"How was I to know that his convict suit was only a costume?" demanded Johnny.
"Well," mused Pat, "'tis life and there's a lesson in this somewhere."
"That there is," replied Johnny. "'Tis wise never to book a judge by his cover."

Said the FBI agent to the bank teller after the bank was robbed for the third time by the same bandit, "Did you notice anything special about the man?"
"Yes, he seemed better dressed each time."

A Joke At Random

An Englishman, lecturing on his travels, was speaking disparagingly about the Scots in Canada and the mixing of the race with the Indians.
‘You’ll find,’ he said, ‘a great number of Scots half-breeds and French half­breeds, but you cannot find any English half-breeds.’
‘Not surprisingly,’ shouted Wee Hughie in the audience. ‘The squaws had to draw the line somewhere.

You can find more like this in the Scottish Jokes category