Miscellaneous Jokes And Funny Stories

 

These are the jokes and funny stories which do not fit in any of the other categories.

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What international award might you win if you reduce your weight by 40lbs?
The Nobelly Prize.

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Where would you go to see a man-eating fish?
A seafood restaurant.

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What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right hand?
Your right elbow.

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I was a war baby. My parents took one look at me and started fighting.

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I drank eight cokes and burped 7-up

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I used to work as a glass blower, but had to give it up as it gave me a pane.

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Good turns make me dizzy

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A man was sitting on a bus chewing gum and staring vacantly into space. Suddenly the old woman sitting opposite him said, "It's no good you talking to me young man, I'm stone deaf."

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Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.

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According to a recent survey by the Academy of Incomplete Research, nine out of ten people are

A Joke At Random

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a 10 Dollar note
Well go and buy something then, the change will do you good.

You can find more like this in the Doctors category