Miscellaneous Jokes And Funny Stories - 6

This is page 6 of miscellaneous jokes and funny stories.

The friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise the funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him.
He asked his mother to go and ask the friars to get out of the business. They ignored her too.
So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town, to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close shop! Terrified, the friars did so, thereby proving that...
Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

'Hi Bob, Where have you been?'
'The cemetery.'
'Oh! Who's dead?'
'They all are.'

Dad, there's someone at the door collecting for the old folks home. Shall I give him grandma?

How do we know that Rome was built at night?
Because all the books say it wasn't built in a day!

There was 3 men on a plane, a Scotsman, an Irish man and a Chinese man. They was flying over Ireland and the Irish man said I see Ireland, and then they flew over Scotland and the Scotsman said I see Scotland. Then they was going through a storm and the Chinese man went to the cafeteria in the back and he dropped a plate on the floor and said I see china.

Submitted by : Sam 

He was so narrow-minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it.

Those three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are. The first one says: "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow". The second one says: "Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet". The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says: "You two know nothing about fast. My father is a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30 and he is home by 3:45"!!

My friend just fell in love with the head nurse at the hospital where he is - I guess you can say that he's taken a turn for the nurse!

Submitted by : Brian 

Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.

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