Miscellaneous Jokes And Funny Stories - 14

This is page 14 of miscellaneous jokes and funny stories.

A man took his wife deer hunting, they decided to split up to improve their chances of finding a deer. The man explained to his wife that the woods were full of dishonest hunters who might try to claim her deer if she managed to kill one. In case this happened, she should fire her rifle into the air three times, to summon him for assistance. They went their separate ways, and soon he heard a shot, followed by three quick shots. He followed the direction of the sound, and found his wife holding a man at gunpoint. She said "It was just like you told me, I killed this deer fair and square and this man says its his." The husband pointed his rifle at the stranger, who placed his hands in the air and said "She's welcome to keep it, but I would like to get my saddle back."

If you jogged backward would you gain weight?

A man fell over a cliff and broke both arms. His rescuer dangled a rope down and told him to catch hold of it in his teeth while he hauled him up. Inch by inch the man was pulled up the cliff, until he was only six feet from the top. 'Are you okay?' shouted the rescuer.
'Yeeeeeee- heeeelllllllppppp!' came the reply.

'You wouldn't think I'd bought this car second-hand, would you?'
'No, I thought you'd made it yourself.'

A man fell over a cliff and broke both arms. His rescuer dangled a rope down and told him to catch hold of it in his teeth while he hauled him up. Inch by inch the man was pulled up the cliff, until he was only six feet from the top. 'Are you okay?' shouted the rescuer.
'Yeeeeeee- heeeelllllllppppp!' came the reply.

Out in the Wild West a cowboy found an Indian with his ear pressed to the ground. 'What are you listening for?' asked the cowboy.
'A stage coach passed this way five minutes ago,' said the Indian.
'How can you tell?' asked the cowboy.
'It ran over me and broke my neck,' replied the Indian.

NERVOUS PASSENGER: How often do planes of this type crash?
CAPTAIN: Only once, Madam.

'Do these stairs take you to the second floor?'
'No. I'm afraid you have to walk.'

There was once an Indian Chief whose name was Shortcake. He lived with his wife Squaw high up in the mountains. Sadly, one day Shortcake died and a very sympathetic Indian asked Squaw what she was going to do with him. She answered mournfully: 'Squaw bury Shortcake.'

Submitted by : John 

There was a rascal who managed to get engaged to two women at the same time: one named Edith, in California, and the other named Kate, in texas. Unfortunately for the rascal, the two girls met at a beauty contest, discovered the truth, and confronted him with the following admonition: "You can't have your Kate and Edith, too."

A Joke At Random

My brother came running in He said, 'Mum, there's a man outside with a broken arm called Brian.'
My mum said, 'That's a funny name for a broken arm.'

You can find more like this in the Jokes For Children category