Jokes And Funny Stories For Children

This section has jokes and funny stories chosen especially for children. Though anyone is welcome to view them.

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Q. What did the elf use to make him taller?
A. He used elf raising flour.

Submitted by : Brookie

What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don't look, I'm changing.

How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb up a tree and act like a nut.

Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word 'analyze' in it.
Pupil: My sister Anna lies in bed until nine o'clock.

Which soldiers smell of salt and pepper?
Seasoned troopers.

What do you call a nervous witch?
a twitch.

What do you call a girl with the Titanic on her head?
Mandy lifeboats.

Who was the first underwater spy?
James Pond.

What has webbed feet and fangs?
Count Quackula.

What dog smells of onions?
A hot dog.

A Joke At Random

An English tourist is on holiday in a Cornish village when he spots what is obviously the village idiot sitting next to the horse trough. In his hand is an old stick, and tied to the end is a piece of string which is dangling in the water. The tourist decides to humour the fellow and asks: "Have you caught anything yet?" The village idiot looks up and studies the stranger, before saying: "Aye, you be the seventh today."

You can find more like this in the British Humour category