Jokes And Funny Stories For Children - 7

This is page 7 of jokes and funny stories for children.

What did they say to King Harold at the battle of Hastings?
Cor! Get an eyeful of those arrows!

What do spotty people go riding in?
Acne carriages.

What flies through the jungle singing opera?
The parrots of Penzance.

Where does Tarzan buy his underpants?
In a jungle sale.

How did Quasimodo know the end was near?
He had a hunch.

And which really horrible Mother Superior went all over Europe beating people up?
Attila the Nun.

My brother said, 'I've got this awful job down on the farm. I'm up to my elbows in manure all day.'
I said, 'Well at least it'll stop you biting your nails.'

My uncle said, 'I've got this woodpecker with no beak. What shall I call him?'
I said, 'A headbanger.

My dad said to me, 'Son, today I fought off the powers of darkness.'
I said, 'How did you do that?'
He said, 'I paid the electricity bill.'

This kid said to me, 'My dad can beat your dad up.'
I said to him, 'That's nothing. So can my mum.'

A Joke At Random

Hamish was building a garden shed and he ran out of nails so he went to the hardware store to buy some more.
"How long do you want them?" asked the storekeeper.
"Oh, I need to keep them," replied Hamish.

You can find more like this in the Scottish Jokes category