Jokes And Funny Stories For Children 2 - 4

 

This is page 4 of jokes and funny stories for children.

My brother's trousers were split right down the back. He said, 'Mum says they're my Van Winkle trousers.'
I said, 'What does she mean by that?'
He said, 'They've got a Rip in them.'

My uncle said to me, 'Lad, take my advice. Beware of the thing that is green, and has six legs, and will kill you if it jumps out of a tree on you.'
I said, 'Uncle, what is it?'
He said, 'A snooker table,'

'Did you hear about the cowboy who was hanged for wearing paper trousers?'
'No, why was that?'
'Because they were rustling.'

How do you make a piano laugh?
Tickle its ivories.

How many ears has Captain Kirk got?
Three - his left ear, his right ear, and the final frontier!

Teacher to pupils One Of the most important documents in English history was the Magna Carta. Now, does anyone know where it was signed?
Pupil: At the bottom, Miss?

What is red and black, red and black, red and black?
A zebra with sunburn.

Why was the mother flea so upset when her children all left her?
She realised they were all going to the dogs.

What did the scarf say to the hat?
You go on ahead and I'll just hang around.

How do you make a Swiss roll?
Push him off the mountain.


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A Joke At Random

There were these two peanuts walking down the street and one was assaulted.

You can find more like this in the Miscellaneous Jokes category