Jokes And Funny Stories For Children 2 - 2

This is page 2 of jokes and funny stories for children.

What did one lightbulb say to the other?
I'm going out tonight

The other day my dad leapt eight feet in the air. I said, 'Dad, I didn't know you were a high-jumper.'
He said, 'I'm not. Your mum dropped the iron on my foot.'

Hear about this guy who lived right next door to a sewer and killed himself?
The coroner said it was sewercide.

This bloke said to my brother, 'I think I'm a clock you know.'
My brother said, 'Well don't get wound up about it.'

This bloke said to my brother, 'My trouble is I keep thinking I'm a strawberry.'
My brother said, 'You're in a jam then aren't you.'

The man said, 'My problem is I keep stealing things.'
My brother said, 'You'd better take something for that.'

Did you hear about the Hungarian ghost?
He preferred ghoulash.

My brother's trousers were split right down the back. He said, 'Mum says they're my Van Winkle trousers.'
I said, 'What does she mean by that?'
He said, 'They've got a Rip in them.'

My uncle said to me, 'Lad, take my advice. Beware of the thing that is green, and has six legs, and will kill you if it jumps out of a tree on you.'
I said, 'Uncle, what is it?'
He said, 'A snooker table,'

'Did you hear about the cowboy who was hanged for wearing paper trousers?'
'No, why was that?'
'Because they were rustling.'

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