Jokes And Funny Stories For Children - 14

This is page 14 of jokes and funny stories for children.

My mum said, 'Doctor, give me something for my kidneys.'
The doctor said, 'How about a few rashers of bacon?'

The doctor said, 'Is your cough better now?'
My brother said, 'Oh yes much better. I've been practising for weeks.'

This tramp came to our house asking for food. My mum said, 'I think I'll offer him one of my rock cakes.'
My dad said, 'What harm has he ever done you?'

Did you hear about the man who wouldn't wash until he became a millionaire? He's now filthy rich.

My uncle keeps a pig under his bed. I said, 'What about the smell?'
My uncle said, 'He doesn't mind that.'

My mum said to my uncle, 'What's got four legs and flies?'
My uncle said, 'Don't tell me, the horse is dead.'

I said to my uncle, 'How long have you been bald?'
He said 'Ever since the war lad. I lost it in a hair raid.'

Hear about the musical ghost? He wrote haunting melodies.

Did you hear about the vampire who liked ballroom dancing?
He especially liked the vaultz.

Hear about the glow-worm that got squashed?
It was de-lighted.

A Joke At Random

An artist, a lawyer, and a computer scientist are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce, bankruptcy. Not worth it. Too many problems. The computer scientist says "It's the best thing that's ever happened to me. My wife thinks I'm with my mistress. My mistress thinks I'm home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!"

You can find more like this in the Computer Programmer & Users category