Jokes And Funny Stories For Children - 13

This is page 13 of jokes and funny stories for children.

My brother said, 'l've brought you home a present. It's a wombat.'
I said, 'What's a wombat for?'
He said, 'A good game of wom.'

Did you hear what happened when the ghosts went on strike?
A skeleton staff took over.

What did they say to Julius Caesar When he went into a pub?
'Ale, Caesar?'

Did you hear about the prisoner who talked very slowly?
He took twentyfive years to finish a sentence.

My brother said to my mum, 'It's not fair. I was just about to fight Johnny Jenkins when my sister threw rotten eggs at me.'
My mum said 'Lucy, what did you do that for?'
She said, 'I was egging him on.'

My uncle was talking to this egg. He said, 'I'm ever so sorry little egg but I'm about to fry you.'
The egg said, 'Are you having me on?'
My uncle said, 'Of course I am. I'm having you on toast.'

My uncle said, 'I wonder what'll happen if I feed gunpowder to my chickens?'
I said, 'You'll probably get an eggsplosion.'

This girl cannibal took her boyfriend home to meet her mum. She said, 'Mum, what do you think of him?'
Her mum said, 'Lovely dear. He looks good enough to eat.'

My mum and dad went into this restaurant. They said, 'Waiter, have you got spaghetti on the menu?'
The waiter said, 'Looks like it. I'll get a cloth and wipe it off.'

My brother went to the doctor. He said, 'I feel like a bar of soap.
The doctor said, 'That's life, boy.'

A Joke At Random

An hillbilly boy and his Father were visiting a mall for the first time. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this Father?". The Father responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is!".
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights w/numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24 year old woman stepped out.
The Father said to his son, "Go get your Mother".

You can find more like this in the Miscellaneous Jokes category