Jokes & Funny Stories About Restaurants & Food

Waiters, food and restaurants have always been a good source of jokes and funny stories.

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Why did the man order alphabet soup in the restaurant?
He wanted to eat his words.

Waiter, there's a strange film on my soup.
Well, what do you expect for one Dollar, Star Wars?

Waiter, waiter, you've given me a wet soup plate.
That's your soup, sir.

Waiter, there's a hand in my soup.
"That's not your soup, sir, it's the finger bowl.

"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!"
"I'm not surprised, sir, our chef used to be a tailor."

Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley. "I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, the floors are gleaming white. It's so sanitary the whole place shines." "Please," said the other roach, frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"

Customer: Waiter, what's this fly doing in my ice-cream?
Waiter: Looks like he's learning to ski.

Waiter to customer: "I know your steak is frozen. I told you it would melt in your mouth, didn't I?"

What kind of lettuce was served on the Titanic?
Iceberg.

Sponge cake: Dessert made from borrowed ingredients.

A Joke At Random

A giant panda went into a cafe and ordered a cheeseburger. It sat there quietly eating the cheeseburger, then it got up, took out a gun, shot the waiter, and walked outside.
"Did you see that?" exclaimed a customer. "Why did he do that?" he asked the manager. The manager looked up from the book he was leafing through. "I'm looking it up in the dictionary," he replied. "It says here: "Panda, eats shoots and leaves."

You can find more like this in the Animal Jokes category