Jokes & Funny Stories - Restaurants & Food - 5

 

This is page 5 of jokes and funny stories about restaurants and food.

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My uncle went to a restaurant, and there was this waitress scratching herself. He said, 'Tell me have you got eczema?'
She said, 'Not if it's not on the menu.'

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Waiter, waiter, there's a twig in my soup.
Well you did order bird's nest soup, sir.

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Waiter, waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?
The breast stroke, sir.

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Waiter, waiter, have you smoked salmon?
No, sir but I have smoked a pipe.

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Waiter, waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup.
Yes, sir, it's the hot water that kills them.

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Waiter, waiter what's on the menu tonight?
I'm not sure, sir, but it looks like last night's special.

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Waiter, waiter, do they ever change the tablecloths in thls restaurant?
I don't know, sir. I've only been here a year.

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How did you find your steak, sir?
I just turned over a chip and there it was.

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Waiter, waiter, you're not fit to serve a pig.
I'm trying my best, sir.

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Waiter, waiter, this food is terrible. Bring me the manager.
I'm sorry, sir. He won't eat it either.

A Joke At Random

If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.

You can find more like this in the Jokes about Politicians category