Jokes & Funny Stories - Restaurants & Food - 5

This is page 5 of jokes and funny stories about restaurants and food.

Waiter, waiter, there's a twig in my soup.
Well you did order bird's nest soup, sir.

Waiter, waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?
The breast stroke, sir.

Waiter, waiter, have you smoked salmon?
No, sir but I have smoked a pipe.

Waiter, waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup.
Yes, sir, it's the hot water that kills them.

Waiter, waiter; what's on the menu tonight?
I'm not sure, sir, but it looks like last night's special.

Waiter, waiter, do they ever change the tablecloths in thls restaurant?
I don't know, sir. I've only been here a year.

How did you find your steak, sir?
I just turned over a chip and there it was.

Waiter, waiter, you're not fit to serve a pig.
I'm trying my best, sir.

Waiter, waiter, this food is terrible. Bring me the manager.
I'm sorry, sir. He won't eat it either.

Waiter, waiter, there's a small fly in my soup.
I'm sorry, sir. Shall I get you a bigger one?

A Joke At Random

Three animals were having a huge argument over who was the best: The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey had nary a chance. The second, a lion, based his claim on his strength---none in the forest dared to challenge him. The third, a skunk, insisted he needed neither flight nor strength to frighten off any creature. As the trio debated the issue, a grizzly bear came along and swallowed them all: hawk, lion and stinker!

You can find more like this in the Animal Jokes category