Jokes & Funny Stories - Restaurants & Food - 4

This is page 4 of jokes and funny stories about restaurants and food.

There was a Scottish baker who tried to economize by making the holes in his doughnuts bigger. He soon gave it up, though. The bigger the hole was the more dough he had to put round it.

Waiter, waiter, this food isn't fit for a pig.'
'Very good sir. I'll go and get you some that is.'

Waiter, waiter, do you have frogs' legs?'
'No, sir, I always walk this way.'

Waiter, waiter, do you have frogs' legs?' 'Yes, sir.'
'Well, hop over the counter and get me a sandwich.'

Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup.'
'No, sir, actually that's the chef. The last customer was a witch doctor.'

Waiter, waiter, this coffee tastes like tea.'
'oh, I'm sorry, sir. I must have brought you cocoa by mistake.'

Diner. 'This piece of cod isn't nearly so nice as the piece I had here a few weeks ago.'
- Absent minded Waiter. 'It ought to be sir, it's from the same fish.'

My brother was in a restaurant. He said, 'Waiter, why is this pie squashed?'
The waiter said; 'Well sir, you said "I want a pie, and step on it".'

My brother was in a restaurant. He said to the waiter, 'You said this was the dish of the day.'
The waiter said, 'It was sir. One day last year.

My uncle went to a restaurant, and there was this waitress scratching herself. He said, 'Tell me have you got eczema?'
She said, 'Not if it's not on the menu.'

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