Jokes And Funny Stories About Marriage - 6

This is page 6 of jokes and funny stories about marriage.

A HUSBAND: The man who knows he is in charge, and has his wife's permission to say so.

A FATHER: The man who has complete command, most of the time, of the dog.

When a man was reading the newspaper, his wife asked, "Will you still love me when I'm old and gray?" "Sure I do," he mumbled.

A man had a wife who was a terrible cook - she just served frozen food day after day. Eventually the husband went to his doctor and explained his problem. 'And what's the trouble?' asked the doctor. 'Ulcers?' 'No, frostbite.'

'Are you married?'
'No, I've always been round-shouldered.'

Marriage is based on the theory that when a man discovers a particular brand of beer exactly to his taste, he should at once throw up his job and go to work in the brewery.

Printed in a newspaper - Hugh and Ruth went to grammar school together and their marriage will stop a romance begun between them there.

Printed in a newspaper - The marriage of Miss Anna Bloch and Mr William Dashwood, which was announced in this paper a few weeks ago, was a mistake and we wish to correct it.

'Tell me, young man,' said the father to his prospective son-in-law, 'if my daughter marries you, and I give her a substantial dowry, what have you to offer her in return?' 'I'll give you a receipt.'

A drunken man at a party went up to a strange woman and embraced her clumsily. She slapped his face. 'I'm so sorry,' he said, 'I thought you were my wife.' 'Huh,' said the woman, 'You'd be a fine husband to have. Just look at you - a drunken, clumsy, disgusting brute.' 'Good heavens,' said the drunk, 'you talk like her, too.'

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