Jokes And Funny Stories About Lawyers - 6

This is page 6 of jokes and funny stories about lawyers.

A banker, an engineer and a lawyer were driving down a road when suddenly, their car broke down. Seeing a farm house near by, they decided to stop by and ask if they could sleep overnight while their car was being repaired. "Sure", replied the farmer, "...but I only have two spare beds - one of you will have to sleep in the barn." The engineer decided that he would sleep in the barn. Ten minutes later, there was a knock at the bedroom door. "I can't sleep in the barn - there is a cow in the barn and I am Hindu." So, the banker agreed to sleep in the barn. Ten minutes later, there was a knock at the door: "I can't sleep in the barn - there is a pig in the barn, and I am Jewish." The lawyer said "I know what you're up to, but I'll go", and so the lawyer went out the barn. Sure enough, ten minutes later, there was a knock at the door - the cow and the pig.

What's a good example of a missed opportunity?
A bus-load of lawyers going over a cliff with one empty seat.

What should you do if you find three lawyers buried up to their neck in cement?
Run and find some more cement!

What's the easiest way to get away from a lawyer?
Buy a faster ambulance.

What's the best way to get a hold of a lawyer?
By the neck...

What would you do if your were in a large room, all sealed up, no windows, the door was locked, and there were 5 hungry tigers, 32 vultures, 17 spitting cobras, 213 tarantulas, 1 laywer, and you had a gun with only two bullets?
Shoot the lawyer twice.

A famous lawyer died and, unexpectedly, showed up at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter came out to welcome him, and as the Gates opened the lawyer saw a banner which welcomed him, the first 457 year old man. The lawyer was confused. He said to St. Peter "I don't understand. When I died, I was 63 years old, not 457." St. Peter was now confused, and said "Why, you must be 457 years old. We added up all the hours you billed your clients, so you've got to be 457!"

What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A doberman.

A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?".
"Sure do," replied the bartender.
"Good," said the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my 'gator."

It was so cold last winter that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.

A Joke At Random

A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it."
Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.
Finally the driver got out and asked her what she was doing. And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow.
The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to K-Mart now?"

You can find more like this in the Jokes About Blondes category