Jokes About Elephants

Here are a few elephant jokes.

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Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool?
They couldn't keep their trunks up.

Why did the elephants leave the circus?
They were tired of working for peanuts.

Why do elephants have trunks?
Because they don't have glove compartments.

How can you tell if an elephant has been sleeping in your bed?
The bed smells of peanuts and the sheets are wrinkled.

Did you hear about the elephant with diarrhea?
It's all over town.

How do you make a dead elephant float?
Well, you take 10 dead elephants, 10 tonnes of chocolate ice-cream, 5 tonnes of bananas,.....

Q: Why don't elephants like penguins?
A: They can't get the wrapper off.(Too whom it may concern: Penguins are a brand of cookies).

Q: How do you know if there is an elephant under your bed?
A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.

Q: How does an elephant get down from a tree?
A: It doesn't, You get down from a duck.

Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?

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A Joke At Random

Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge.
They sit themselves at their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.
He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out."
"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."
Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished.
He stutters, "B-b-but how? I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact. How did he do it?"
God smiled all-knowingly, "Jesus saves."

You can find more like this in the Computer Programmer & Users category