Jokes and Funny Stories about Drunks

I knew that I must be drunk when I started feeling sophisticated - and couldn't pronounce it.

I'm not a steady drinker - my hand shakes too much.

A drunk was brought before the court. "Mister," the judge began, "you've been brought here for drinking."
"Great!" the drunk exclaimed. "When do we get started?"

Two drunks were staggering home one night when they passed the local brewery which was lit up. One said 'It's good to know that no matter how much we drink they are still able to supply enough.'
'Maybe,' said his friend, 'but I see that we have them working nights'.

The drunker I sit here, the longer I get.

Ossifer, I swear to drunk I'm not God!

I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk!
Alcoholics go to meetings!

1 Tequila
2 Tequila
3 Tequila
Floor.

Submitted by : Steve

Everybody should believe in something -- I believe I'll have another drink.