Jokes And Funny Stories About Computers - 5

This is page 5 of jokes and funny stories about computers.

Hardware,
The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.

If a listener nods his head when you're explaining your program, wake him up.

Real Programmers don't play tennis, or any other sport that requires you to change clothes. Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers wear their climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly spring up in the middle of the office.

Real Users find the one combination of bizarre input values that shuts down the system for days.

Real Users never use the Help key.

The reason computer chips are so small is computers don't eat much.

The world is coming to an end. Please log off.

"Virtual" means never knowing where your next byte is coming from.

Assumed Decimal Point: Located two positions to the right of a programmer's current salary in estimating his own worth.

If the auto industry had done what the computer industry has done in the past 30 years, a Rolls Royce would cost $2.50 and would get 2,000,000 miles per gallon.

A Joke At Random

Stupid people should have stupid signs....
One day I was sitting on the SCHOOL bus and a new guy came on, sat beside me and asked "You going to school?"
"Nope!" I said, "I just wanted to see where this bus was head'n to.
"....."Here's your sign."

You can find more like this in the Intelligence Tests category