Christmas Jokes And Funny Stories - 2

This is page 2 of Christmas jokes and funny stories to help you see the humorous side of the festive season.

Merry Christmas

What do gorillas sing at Christmas?
Jungle Bells, Jungle Bells...

Joe: Did you get many Christmas presents?
Jack: I sure did. A lot more than my four brothers.
Joe: Why was that?
Jack: On Christmas morning I got up two hours before them.

What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

I wish you a Merry Christmas
And a Happy New Year,
A stocking full of presents
And a fridge full of beer.

Christmas - a holiday during which neither the past nor the future is of as much interest as the present.

What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas?
Santa Claws.

Who carries a sack and bites people?
Santa Jaws.

What did Santa get when he crossed a reindeer with a piece of wood?
A hat rack.

How does santa begin a joke?
"This one will sleigh you...."

Mummy, here's your Christmas present. A box of your favorite chocolates.
Thanks, but the box is half empty.
Well, they're my favorite chocolates too.

Page 1 | Page 2 | Page 3 | Page 4

A Joke At Random

You have reached 934-2435. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition. You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded. If we don't return your call, it means the machine did not work.

You can find more like this in the Answering Machine Messages category