Jokes & Funny Stories About Cannibals

Some very old and corny jokes and funny stories about cannibals.

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Have you noticed that most cannibal jokes are not in good taste?

A pilot was flying over the jungle when he started having engine trouble. Eventually the engine stopped and he realised that he would have to bail out before it lost too much height and crashed. So he put on his parachute and jumped out of the door. He pulled the rip cord, his parachute opened and he floated gently down towards a clearing in the jungle. Unfortunately he landed right in the middle of a large cooking pot in which the chief of the cannibals was cooking lunch. The chief cried out in astonishment, "whats this flier doing in my soup?"

"I don't think much of your wife."
"Well, never mind just eat the vegetables."

What do cannibals eat for breakfast?
Buttered host.

What did the cannibal say when he met the famous explorer?
Doctor Livingstone, I consume?

1st Cannibal: Am I late for supper?
2nd Cannibal: Yes everybody's eaten.

What happened when the cannibals ate a comedian?
They had a feast of fun.

A sign over a cannibal's hut: "I never met a man I didn't like."

What do the guests do at a cannibal wedding?
They toast the bride and groom.

Father Cannibal To Daughter: It's time you got married. We'll start looking for an edible bachelor.

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A Joke At Random

A woman was in her front yard, moving her lawnmower when her blonde neighbour came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house. A little while later, she came out and again she checked her mailbox and angrily stormed back into her house. As the woman was getting ready to mow the lawn...she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and slammed it closed. Puzzled by her actions the woman asked her "Is something wrong?". To which she replied, "There certainly is!.......
My stupid computer keeps saying "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"

You can find more like this in the Jokes About Blondes category