Jokes & Funny Stories About Blondes - 7

This is page 7 of our jokes and funny stories about blondes.

There was a woman who was sick of her husband taking the mick out of her because she was blonde, so she decided that when he went out, she'd decorate the front room. When her husband got home, he found her lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. The husband asks, why you wearing two coats? She said because it said on the tin of paint for best results put on two coats.

Submitted by : Nicole Mclaren 

Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas?
A: They can't find the zipper.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.

Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?
A: "Why, I just _love_ nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?

Q: What does a blonde make for dinner?
A: Reservations.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Give her M&M's and tell her to put them in alpabetical order.

Q: What's a blonde's favorite wine?
A: "Daaaady, I want to go to Miaaami!"

Q: What do you call a blonde with a whole brain?
A: A Golden Retriever.

Q: How is a blonde like a beer bottle?
A: They are both empty from the neck up.

Q: What do an intelligent blonde and a UFO have in common.
A: You often hear about them, but you never see one.

A Joke At Random

THE PERKS OF BEING 50+
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run - anywhere.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
9. You enjoy hearing about other peoples' operations.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into  the room.
14. You sing along with elevator music.
15. Your eyes won't get much worse.
16. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national  weather service.
18. Your secrets are safe with your friends, because they can't  remember them either.
19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
20. You can't remember who sent you this list.

You can find more like this in the British Humour category