Jokes & Funny Stories About Blondes - 7

This is page 7 of our jokes and funny stories about blondes.

There was a woman who was sick of her husband taking the mick out of her because she was blonde, so she decided that when he went out, she'd decorate the front room. When her husband got home, he found her lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. The husband asks, why you wearing two coats? She said because it said on the tin of paint for best results put on two coats.

Submitted by : Nicole Mclaren

Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas?
A: They can't find the zipper.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.

Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?
A: "Why, I just _love_ nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?

Q: What does a blonde make for dinner?
A: Reservations.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Give her M&M's and tell her to put them in alpabetical order.

Q: What's a blonde's favorite wine?
A: "Daaaady, I want to go to Miaaami!"

Q: What do you call a blonde with a whole brain?
A: A Golden Retriever.

Q: How is a blonde like a beer bottle?
A: They are both empty from the neck up.

Q: What do an intelligent blonde and a UFO have in common.
A: You often hear about them, but you never see one.

A Joke At Random

> YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP, ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO CONTINUE?
Yes.
> ARE YOU REALLY SURE?
Yes.
> ARE YOU REALLY REALLY SURE?
YES!
> OK, THEN. JUST SO YOU KNOW, WE'RE REQUIRED TO ASK YOU THAT NOW. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT FOR BEING A PICKY CONSUMER AND SUPPORTING THAT WHOLE "ANTI-TRUST" NONSENSE. INGRATE.
Just get on with it.
> ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP. FIRST WE NEED TO CHECK YOUR SYSTEM FOR COMPATIBILITY. THIS COULD TAKE SEVERAL DAYS.
Groan.
> THE INSTALL PROGRAM HAS DETECTED SEVERAL POSSIBLE PROBLEMS AND WILL NOT LET YOU INSTALL XP.
Problems? What problems?
> THE VIDEO CARD YOU ARE USING APPARENTLY DOES NOT WORK WITH THE MOTHERBOARD.
But I'm using it at this very moment.
> THAT IS IRRELEVANT.
But if the video card isn't working with the mother board then I can't very well see this warning message telling me that the video card wasn't...
> DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FOOL ME WITH LOGIC, I AM A MICROSOFT PRODUCT. LOGIC DOES NOT WORK ON ME. I HAVE ALSO FOUND THE FOLLOWING MINOR ERRORS: WINDOWS XP IS INCOMPATIBLE WITH THE FOLLOWING HARDWARE - MONITOR, KEYBOARD, MEMORY CHIPS, > MOTHERBOARD BIOS, WEB CAM, SCANNER, SOUND CARD, USB CONTROLLER, CD/R DRIVE, MICROPHONE, AND FLIGHT STICK.
All that?
> YES. AND THE HARDDRIVE IS RIGHT OUT TOO. WE DON'T LIKE THE MANUFACTURER.
Well what *DOES* work?
> THE MOUSE.
The mouse?
> YES. AND THE 5 1/4 DRIVE.
I don't have a 5 1/4 drive.
> YES YOU DO.
No I don't.
> WHAT'S THAT THEN?
It's a 3 1/2 drive.
> NO IT ISN'T.
Yes it is.
> .. HEY, WHAT IS THAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IS THAT A DISK? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT DISK? YOU'RE NOT PUTTING IT IN THE DRIVE ARE YOU? YOU ARE! WHAT'S ON THAT DISK. IS THAT DOS? YOU'RE INSTALLING DOS?? WHY WOULD YOU INSTALL DOS WHEN I AM INFINITELY MORE POWE..........
C:

You can find more like this in the Computer Programmer & Users category