Jokes & Funny Stories About Blondes - 5

This is page 5 of our jokes and funny stories about blondes.

A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop. The repairman, noticing that the woman was a blonde, decided to have a wee bit of fun.
So he told her all she had to was take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out.
After 15 minutes of this, the blonde's blonde friend came over and asked what she was doing.
"I'm trying to pop out this dent, but it's not really working."
"Duh. You have to roll up the windows first stupid!"

A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions - "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?"
The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It'll take you right there." She thanked the officer and he drives off.
Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop.
The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus and that was three hours ago! Why are you still waiting?"
The blonde replied, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 45th bus just went by!"

One day a blonde kept having the same weird dream everyday, so she went to her doctor.
Doctor: What was your dream about?
Blonde: I was being chase by a vampire!
Doctor: (giggles quitely) So... what is the scenery like?
Blonde: I was running in a hall way.
Doctor: Then what happened?
Blonde: Well that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!
Doctor: Does the door have any writing on it?
Blonde: Yes it does.
Doctor: And what does it say?
Blonde: It says "Pull"

A woman was in her front yard, moving her lawnmower when her blonde neighbour came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house. A little while later, she came out and again she checked her mailbox and angrily stormed back into her house. As the woman was getting ready to mow the lawn...she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and slammed it closed. Puzzled by her actions the woman asked her "Is something wrong?". To which she replied, "There certainly is!.......
My stupid computer keeps saying "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me.....I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started".
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger". He held her hand and said, "Second, I'd advise you to relax. Let's have a cup of coffee, then ..........." he sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."

Three blondes are stranded on an island. They find a lamp and rub it and out pops a genie. "I will grant each of you one wish" the genie said.
The first blonde said that she wished to be smarter than the other two, and she turned into a brunette and swam off the island.
The second blonde said that she wished to be smarter than the other two, and she turned into a red-head and built a raft and rowed off the island.
The third blonde wished to be smarter than the other two, and she turned into a brunette and walked across the bridge.

Q: What did the blonde say when she opened the box of cheerios?
A: Oh look, daddy...doughnut seeds

Did you hear about the blonde housewife who was mad at her husband because he was out shooting craps and she didn't know how to cook them.

What happened to the Blonde terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
She burned her lips on the exhaust pipe.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday night?
Tell her a joke on thursday...

A Joke At Random

The government is sneaky. They raise the tax on alcohol, then make sure that the country is in such a mess that you drink more.

You can find more like this in the Jokes about Politicians category