Funny, Answering Machine Messages - 9

This is page 8 of humorous, answering machine messages.

Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.

Hello. I'm David's answering machine. What are you?

"Hi. Now you say something."

Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.

A Joke At Random

A woman gets on bus and immediately becomes involved in an argument with driver after he calls her baby ugly, she pays her fare and storms off to get a seat when a man asks "What's the matter, love?" "It's that bloody driver, I've never been so insulted in all my life" she replies.
"Ok" says the man "You go down there and sort him out and I'll look after the monkey!".

You can find more like this in the British Humour category