Funny Definitions

Here are some funny definitions.

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Consciousness - the time between naps.

Accountant - someone you hire to explain that you didn't make the money you did.

Wedding - a funeral where you smell your own flowers.

Justice - a decision in your favor.

Paradox - two physicians.

Court of law - the place where a suit is pressed and a man can be taken to the cleaners.

Flattery - an insult in gift wrapping.

Alimony - the cost of loving.

Capitalism - the survival of the fattest.

Oboe: An ill woodwind that no-one blows good.

A Joke At Random

A lead hardware engineer, a lead software engineer, and their program manager are taking a walk outdoors during their lunch break when they come upon an old brass lamp. They pick it up and dust it off. Poof - out pops a genie.
"Thank you for releasing me from my lamp-prison. I can grant you 3 wishes. Since there are 3 of you I will grant one wish to each of you."
The hardware engineer thinks a moment and says, "I'd like to be sailing a yacht across the Pacific, racing before the wind, with an all-girl crew."
"It is done", said the Genie, and poof, the hardware engineer disappears.
The software engineer thinks a moment and says, "I'd like to be riding my Harley with a gang of beautiful women throughout the American Southwest."
"It is done", said the Genie, and poof, the software engineer disappears.
The program manager looks at where the other two had been standing and rubs his chin in thought. Then he tells the Genie, "I'd like those two back in the office after lunch."

You can find more like this in the Computer Programmer & Users category