Change Light Bulb Jokes - 8

This is page 8 of change light bulb jokes.

How many computer journalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five-one to write a review of all the existing light bulbs so you can decide which one to buy, another one to write a remarkably similar one in another magazine the next month, a third to have a big one come out on glossy paper two months later that is by then completely out of date, a fourth to hint in his/her column that a completely new and updated bulb is coming out, and the fifth to report a rumor that that new bulb is shipping with a virus.

How many journalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a pulitzer prize for reporting that the Electric Company hired a light bulb assassin to break the bulb in the first place.

How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just define darkness as an industry standard.

How many IBM engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.

How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. "We'll document it in the manual."

How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. Two to write the specification program, one to screw it in, and two to explain why the project was late.

How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project.

How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. "We'll fix it in software."

How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
We don't know yet. They're still waiting on a part.

How does an engineer change a light bulb?
As long as lighting levels are within operational parameters, he doesn't !

A Joke At Random

The machine answering your call is connected to a 5000 volt power supply, and a relay which is wired to a small kitten. If you hang up before you leave a message, it will complete the circuit and will fry the kitty. The choice is YOURS.... BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

You can find more like this in the Answering Machine Messages category