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British Humour

British humour
The British style of humour

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Last night I got into a taxi and said to the driver, 'Robin Hood's Close'.
He said 'Don't worry, I'm sure that I can lose him at the next set of traffic lights'.

Did you hear that the police have put out a warning to house owners about a gang of men who recently failed in their attempt to steal the tiles from the roof of a local house?
The police said they were roofless criminals.

Why is it a bad idea to iron a four leaf clover?
 Because you should never press your luck.

Dave: Did you hear that Fred has got a job at the bowling alley?
Joe: What tenpin?
Dave: No it's a permanent job.  

Why is 5 o'clock in the morning a bit like a pigs tail?
Because it's twirly!

Submitted by: VJ


My sister fell in love with a famous cricket player.
She was completely bowled over by him.

Why did King Arthur have a round table?
So no one could corner him.

Fred goes into a hotel and says to the receptionist 'I'd like a room please.'
Receptionist: 'Single, Sir?'
Fred: 'Yes, but I am engaged.'

Did you hear about the idiot who thought Hamlet was an omlette served with bacon?

Do you have any grandchildren?
No, all my children are just ordinary.

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