British Jokes And Humour - 2

This is page 2 of British jokes and humour.

Postman: Is this letter for you? The name is smudged.
Man: No, it can't be for me, my name is Smith.

Submitted by : Joe 

Avenue Road
What's wrong with the old one?

Submitted by : Joe 

Villager: It was 'ere that Catherine of aragon was bitten by a mad dog.
Tourist: Tudor?
Villager: Yes, chewed 'er something 'orrible it did.

Old Lady: Do you always play by ear?
Street Musician: Yes, lady, 'ere or 'ereabouts.

What is white and furry and smells of peppermint?
A polo bear.

There has been a theft at Euro Disney. A man has been charged with taking the Mickey.

Honk your horn if you love peace and quiet.

A woman goes into an antique shop and says to the owner, "when I was in here last week I saw a big mug with a flat head that holds a lot of beer. I'd like to buy it."
"Sorry," replied the owner, but I can't sell you that."
"Why not asked the customer?"
"Because that's my husband."

Who appears in cowboy films and is always broke?
Skint Eastwood.

What do you get if you cross a fruit with a Welshman?
A taffy apple.

A Joke At Random

"Surely you're not going to drive that car," said the policeman, advancing on the motorist who had just staggered out of a bar.
"Well, offisher, do you think I'm in any condi­tion to walk?"

You can find more like this in the Drunks category